Why should I return?

I have been in US for almost last 4 years. Now when I look back it seems to be a long and tiring journey. Why tiring? because I had given more than 100% at everytime. I took on challenges which I thought were hard for me to handle. I crawled and dragged on everything that came in my way. Today when I open my eyes to see where I'm, I feel like I have raced on the path of my journey of life.

6 years ago when I passed out of college I never thought 6 years later I'll be able to go so far. That time there was always a fear will I be able to survive myself, will I ever be able to live a comfortable life? Will I be able to live up to the high expectations of my family and friends? All these thoughts were always in back of my mind and always bothering me, even though you would never see them reflected in my actions and expressions. Today with God's grace I have answer to all those questions and thankfully all are positive. Now I feel more relaxed person than I was a few years ago.

All this has not come easy. Not that I'm complaining about but it's just how I feel about it. All this has come with lot of sacrifice, more than me the sacrifice from my parents. They always wanted me and my bro to be around them and make a good family together (I'm sure every parents want that way). It has so happened that for last almost 10 years my parents have lived without me and my brother, but they never ever complained about it.

Living in US has been completely different than my days in Amravati (college) and Mumbai (job). Personally I have never felt very good about my stay in US. Most people think US is much better then India, facilities are so good, water and air so clean and traffic and roads are so organized. My answer to all that is that, while you get all that you have to live in a very different culture, eat different type of food and be among people who sometimes think that you are spoiling there jobs. Its not that it has always been bad experiences, I have had lot of memorable moments too. In fact the good experiences have been more than the bad ones and also I have made many American friends and have been praised by Americans quite a few times for the good work I have done. But above all I still don't live my life as freely as I would have if I was in India. I miss being with the family and friends back in India. My country, My people, My culture, My freedom.

In the last 4 years I must have been to the airport at least 25 times. Not just for my traveling but because of dropping and receiving others too. Being an emotional person, everytime in the back of my mind I used to think when will the day come when I will return back to my land. It's not that I have not been to India, I have been there 3 times in last 4 years. Going for vacation is not that of fun, living there is much more fun.

Now that I have made the decision to pack my bags full and final, I'm just counting days backwards. But sometimes I get confused did I make right decision? Yes you read it right...confused! And the reason for that is the activities that are happening in My country. Bomb blasts, politics and other anti social activities. All these make me think why should I return back to my country? If I'm not safe in my country why should I go back? I have option to settle down in US and I call my parents here to stay with me. So was it a right choice? We do all the efforts and earn money for what, to live a good happy life. So what's the point in living in a place where you can stay happy.

I don't have answers to all these questions but the only thing I know is come what may I will still prefer to live in My country. My countries problem are my problem and I do not see any reason to run away from them. Instead we should look forward to finding solutions to the problems. I just hope and wish I'll get a chance to do something for my country. I'll definitely keep on trying to get such opportunity.


Mil gayi mujh ko meri disha....badli hai yun hawa...I'm coming home again.....(Hattrick-2007)